Men and Therapy in Today’s World
There has been a long tradition of men feeling pressure to not express their feelings. Instead our society has instilled stoicism to just “fix the problem” and to not seek support or help from others. In this situation men can feel very isolated and feel the need to figure things out on their own. Leaving feelings unprocessed can further many unhealthy habits and destructive behaviors. There may be moments when a man does notice their unhealthy habits and destructive behavior happening in their life however they may not understand the root cause or understand how to make long lasting changes.
Our Unhealthy Behaviors
When these unhealthy behaviors continue for a long period of time, this is when the cycle of shame begins. The cycle of shame can often become a never ending pattern in a person’s life like being on a roller coaster that does not stop nor has an exit. From this point a person either continues on and the behaviors become so out of control they don’t recognize their own life or they realize it’s time to seek help from a professional.
How do I find a Therapist?
Now that it is apparent therapy is a must, the big question is how do I find a therapist I can trust? My hope in writing this post is to convey the message that I truly understand the difficulty and discomfort that comes with a man seeking therapy. It is also apparent to me how hard it may be for a male to share their emotions with another person they have never met. Finding a therapist and sharing emotions may seem uncomfortable but remember it is just a conversation between two people in private. We do much more difficult things such as getting up at 5 am to walk the dog in the rain, going to the gym every week or being at Costco on a Saturday afternoon. I can say the ones who move beyond the 30 seconds of discomfort to make the phone call and end up in my office are the ones who carry the trait of fearlessness and those are the ones who desire real long lasting change in their life.
Remind me why Therapy?
On a last note, when life becomes more challenging than pleasurable that is the time to pursue therapy. Therapy can help with depression, relationship issues, intimacy topics such as desires and performance, life changes, stress management and so many other reasons. Therapy can help men to constructively navigate through their unhealthy habits or destructive behaviors and create a healthy long lasting change. A therapist can offer empathy and understanding and help create a clear perspective on a man’s emotions. A therapist can offer skills for a higher level of emotional connection. It can help to navigate how to untangle those unhealthy habits or destructive behaviors. At this moment what needs to happen is clear the last step is to make the move forward.